Off my chest

Just dropping in this morning to say hello...

I have 3 unfinished drafts currently sitting on the blog. One about weaning, another on Lydia's 18 month update, and the title and one sentence about my 14th week of pregnancy. They all seem a bit irrelevant now... So I think I will just move on. As much as I love having this blog for myself to look back on I probably just need to let go of the few months that I lost being so sick and just write about what is happening now. 

Lydia is weaned (and has been for 3 months). We went the cold turkey route not by choice but by necessity. After no eating for two weeks and then throwing up close to 20 times in 3 days David stepped in and insisted that we stop. He was right - I needed to be keeping any nutrients I had for me and the new baby - and it really wasn't too hard on Lydia. After a few days she no longer whined for it, and after two weeks there was no mention of it. This whole pregnancy has made me feel like I am losing my one baby to another... But I think that is a really natural thing to feel. Weaning Lydia definitely contributed a little to the sadness that comes along with this, but also allowed me to start to see her as the amazing big sister that she will be soon.

Lydia is now 19 1/2 months and is just a joy. Perhaps I will revise her update and start on her 20 month one ;)

And this pregnancy is going much better. I am sitting here drinking coffee after having a bowl of cereal and in a few minutes I will leave to go do yoga. The belly is growing and I have energy each day to do a reasonable amount of things. I have been feeling the baby move more and I try so hard to be still in those moments an soak in the gratitude. We will find out the gender in about three weeks and then we will start on a nursery which I am so excited about. Lydia never had an official nursery, and we are planning on finishing her room before the new baby comes as well. I am really looking forward to decorating our kids' (plural!!!) rooms and making our house feel more like a permanent home.

So, now I feel caught up and I hope you do too! I also hope you have a wonderful day :)

Hyperemesis: Round 2

The beginning of my first pregnancy was not easy, and as David and I were talking about the possibility of another baby we were aware that this time could be rough too. I prayed and hoped and sincerely believed that it could be - that maybe this time I wouldn't be as sick; that taking Zofran from the beginning would make things better; that my body wouldn't "freak out" as much this time because I had already done it. However an easy, healthy early pregnancy has alluded me again and here I sit 15 weeks along looking back at the blur and nightmare that the last 11 weeks has been.

This time I was diagnosed early on with hyperemesis. I suspected that I had the illness with my first pregnancy, and after reading more about it and devouring other women's testimonials I was sure that this time around I was suffering from a moderate case of it. The doctor who diagnosed me was so wonderful - he was the first who didn't ask why prenatal vitamin I was taking, or suggest I try putting crackers next to my bedside table so I can eat them before I get out of bed. Finally, someone who understood that what I was going through wasn't morning sickness. He explained to me why I was salivating at a disgusting rate and what I could do to help. He assured me that my labor type pains during digestion were normal. And he didn't give me the "as long as you are urinating twice a day, you are fine" line, but instead suggested that on days when I feel terrible I should come on into the office for a couple IV bags. I left that appointment finally feeling understood and justified. I wasn't a wimp; I wasn't a drama queen. I was legitimately ill with a disease that needs to be taken more seriously.

Many people have asked if it has been worse this time around, and the answer is yes, and no. 

I have remained in a physically healthier place this time. I lost 5 lbs instead of 17. When I went in for IVs my potassium and sodium levels were not as abnormally low as they were in my first pregnancy. I also feel like I kept some of my strength up - although I didn't walk or shower often, I could do these things on my own instead of needing assistance. However I attribute these differences to the fact that I had the intense help of my family this time rather than relying on David while he was working. During the day I was either at my parents' being cared for, encouraged to drink and being handed prepared food, or I was at home with his mom or our sister-in-law checking on me every couple hours. I am not able to explain how grateful I am to family and friends who helped us through this crazy journey by nursing me to health and by taking care of Lydia.

In most other ways things have been much more difficult this time around. I started feeling nauseous at 4 weeks and began vomiting non-stop around 6. Although I had the Zofran the vomiting and extreme nausea did not fade until 10 weeks. Even after 10 weeks I could not eat anywhere close to normally until about 12 weeks, and only in the last couple weeks have I had moments where the nausea has lifted. With my first pregnancy Zofran was my miracle drug - once I had it in my system at 10 weeks I felt a noticeable lift in the nausea and immediately had an appetite. 

Another reason this pregnancy is more challenging is the obvious added responsibility of Lydia. I have had such feelings of guilt about the struggles I have put our little family through. It isn't just me anymore - I am responsible for another person now, and I felt as though I all but disappeared from her life for 3 months. Like I said, our family helped us in amazing ways on this front, and my husband, oh my dear husband, picked up my slack in areas of the house, our bills, grocery shopping, etc. But it was a hard, long 11 weeks and it affected me emotionally I ways that the first pregnancy did not. 

The story is not over, and I know that. On the other side of this challenging season I am beginning to regain perspective and to celebrate the gift of pregnancy. I am starting to get excited to have another baby and to be grateful again for the things in my pregnancy that are going smoothly. I know that other people have it worse, and I know that some people can't get pregnant. I have reminded myself over and over that these sacrifices will be undoubtedly worth it (100 times over) when we meet our new baby. 

At the same time I think it is important to share my story. I know that I have gained so much from reading other women's battle stories. And I think it is important for me to document how I am feeling now so that in the future when (or if) we talk about having another biological child I can look back and attempt to remember what it has been like. I am quite aware that now would be a terrible time to make any kind of decision about future babies, but I also know that this season has been hard in legitimate ways that I don't want to take lightly. 

I hope this post wasn't too awful to read, and I hope you can forgive me for failing to write anything for quite a while. I want to document this pregnancy as well as tell you all about our amazing Lydia, but I have also learned that all I can so is take each day as it comes and focus on what is most important. Thanks for your understanding :) 

Maybe this explains the silence... :)

Lydia already loves her new baby brother or sister... Coming in early January!!

Technical difficulties...

Hello everyone!! So for the past week or so I have been trying to figure out a way to renew my current URL (www.balancingthebeautiful.com) with no success.

At some point it will expire and so for now I will be going back to the old URL (www.davidandashleyharrison.blogspot.com) until I can get things figured out. 

 I wanted to keep you updated because I promise posts are coming soon that you won't  want to miss! I haven't fallen off the face of the earth... Life has just happened and the blog has needed to take a backseat. But I will be back soon. 

The Move

We have officially been sleeping at our new house for a week now and at this point we have 99% of our stuff here as well. Unpacking is a different story - it just takes time and I do what I can during the day with Lydia. Each evening David and I stay up later than usual sorting clothes, unpacking books and trying to organize everything. We have a split level, and currently that is working our really well because we are settled into the upper level and all our stuff is strewn about in the lower level.

After being here for a week I feel like I can pick out my favorite parts about our new home, and can also reflect on what I miss about living with David's dad and stepmom.

My Top 5 Favorite Things

1. Our fenced in backyard - I love, Love, LOVE our yard. I can just open the screen door and feel the morning breeze, hear the birds and let Rooney out to play. Lydia loves to just walk around and sit under the big tree in the afternoon and it offers us so much privacy and space. We knew a big, fenced backyard was important to us and now I know why. I love it.
2. Our own full kitchen - I can cook again!!!! I always had the option to cook where we were too, but even at our old apartment I didn't have the space and convenience that I do here. We have a full fridge, plenty of cabinets and a dishwasher (for the first time!). Everything is just so easy - and because of it I have been cooking oatmeal for breakfast, making sandwiches for lunch and cooking dinner most nights since we have been here.
3. Privacy and rhythms - David and I are able to establish habits again just our own little family, and it is wonderful. I am a routine person and the last year taught me so much about flexibility in really good ways. But I also think that having space to be our family of three is really good too. It has been awesome to find that again. We are finding our own identity with Lydia and without graduate school and it is a beautiful thing.
4. Natural light - I am not going to lie; sometimes last summer I got depressed by living in a basement. There were just days when I needed the light! But with a baby you are stuck indoors for hours due to naps... so light just wasn't available below ground. In our new house there are lots of windows so I get the good vitamin D all day long.
5. A place for everything - Since we got married (almost 4 years ago) David and I have had our STUFF everywhere -  my parents' basement, in boxes, stuffed in closets. But now we have a place for all of it; where we can access it and actually use it!

The Top 5 Things I Miss

1. Being in the place where Lydia grew - Lydia learned to pull up to standing on the piano bench in the living room, and learned to crawl in the downstairs nursery, and took her first steps in the den at David's dad's house. It was hard to leave those places where are baby girl grew so much. She gained confidence and personality surrounded by grandparents and cousins an we truly saw her blossom in that home. But, this is just a part of life. I definitely understand now why people live in the same house their whole lives.
2. Seeing other people - It hasn't happened yet, but I know the day will roll around when I will be lonely, and I never had this problem at our old house. I loved that there were always people to talk to - always people to hand Lydia to when I just needed a minute - always something happening in our old home. That was really a beautiful part of living there.
3. Living within walking distance of a really nice park - I miss President's Park! It was an awesome park that was 1 mile away from our old place. It had swings, baseball fields, slides and memories. We aren't much further from the park now and it would be an easy drive, but walking would involve crossing some busy streets and would just feel a lot longer.
4. Having awesome food that someone else prepared - I guess this contradicts number 2 above, but there are some busy nights when I miss just going upstairs and (most likely) having dinner already there. And there is something awesome about gathering around a big table with lots of people for a good meal.
5. Cable - So shallow but so true. I miss House Hunters! And What Not to Wear. But it is summer, so I shouldn't watch TV anyway...

All in all I have just felt so blessed lately, both for the home that we had and the new home that we have. God had provided in so many ways and we will be forever grateful for the generosity of Jamie and Chip. 

My Little Sister

Yesterday we traveled to Lexington to celebrate my sister's completion of graduate school. She now has her Masters in Speech Pathology and I couldn't be more proud.

She is planning on moving back to nky as well and will be looking for a job in a school. I seriously cannot wait to have my sister in the same city as me again and neither can Lydia. It is easy to say that Aunt Jen is one of her most favorite people.

We love you Aunt Jen!!!

We bought a house... Hooray!

It is so amazing and we feel so thankful and blessed for the opportunity to start building a long term home. There are so many things to say but also so many things to do.

On Saturday we scrubbed the place top to bottom and applied the first coat of paint. Sunday was dedicated to finishing the paint - trim and all. Today my mom and I organized lots of kitchen stuff and put up our new bathroom stuff while the guys replaced the oven hood, hung curtains, tore down some drywall (it is ok- everything looks fine) and replaced outlet covers.

Combine that with jobs and chores and a precious toddler and we are so busy! And exhausted. And happy :)

More pictures and updates to come as we get settled.

To Do Lists

Lately I have a million to-do lists going on. They look something like this:

• Change our address
• Go through stuff in storage
• Transfer utilities 
• PACK!!!

Or,

• Buy Bedding
• Buy Washer/Dryer
• Buy Dresser

Or,

• Write study guide
• Write exam
• Finalize grades 

It is a busy time, but we are so, so excited to move and I am excited to be finished with the semester.

It is crazy how much time and energy it takes to move - and how much coordination is required when you want to do it efficiently. I think this week is going to be the hardest for me because there are a million things that I want to do, but (as David kindly reminds me approximately 6 times a day) a lot of them don't make sense to do until we have actual keys to our house.

Still, I am very much a planner and a list-maker. I like to look ahead, try to be prepared and I love to bring together a bunch of moving parts in the most efficient way possible.

So for now I will brainstorm and dream and plan, and be constantly thankful for how blessed we are.


What kinds of things are taking over your to-do lists lately?

Do you enjoy moving? Or does it stress you out?

These two made my day awesome. Love them!

Lessons in Parenting: Sleep

This post will most likely come off as rambling... Because I am tired. Our wonderful sleeper had been not so wonderful over the last three weeks and it is starting to take its toll.

In Lydia's first year it seemed as though transitions were always happening - we would get a schedule and then 2 weeks later everything would change. But ever since she has turned a year, things in the sleeping department have become so much more predictable. For almost 4 months Lydia slept for 10-11 hours straight at night and took two naps each day, totaling around 3 hours. It wasn't always perfect, but 90% of the time David and I could count on long stretches of glorious sleep each night. I am aware we were spoiled and am so grateful that she slept so well.

BUT lately we have had a much different experience around here. About 3 weeks ago David started working long hours, so he wasn't always home in time for Lydia's bedtime routine. Usually I nurse her before dinner and then after dinner daddy gives her a bath, reads her books and puts her to bed. Before this point she hadn't been nursing to sleep (at nights) since about 10 months. When David wasn't available for bedtime and it was up to me, Lydia made it clear that not nursing to sleep wasn't an option. If I was the one rocking her nursing better be a part of it! The first night I had to do this she woke up at 12, then 2, then 3, then 4:30. And every night after that when I nursed her to sleep things weren't much better. Some nights she would wake up multiple times but fall back asleep quickly - other nights she would stay awake for long periods of time (12-3 am). It was really difficult - especially as we were in the midst of tax season and David and I were both already exhausted!

In the midst of the bad night sleeping, a transition to one nap started. Some days Lydia would take her morning nap for babysitters, other days she would not. If she did take a nap everyone would always say how quickly and easily she fell asleep, whereas when I would try to put her down for her afternoon nap it would take 25-45 minutes. Then yesterday - she didn't nap. The WHOLE day!

She looks so cute, but so sleepy!

In general sleep is kind of a mess right now. And most likely Lydia is probably just transitioning, and we messed up her routine, and she is getting another tooth! (Do all parents hate teeth as much as I do?)

I am also wondering about the whole nursing thing... I feel lately as though she is much more antsy when she breastfeeds and is much less comforted. I don't think either of us are ready to wean, but I have come to the conclusion that at least for a while I am going to try hard to never nurse her to sleep. This afternoon I came home and nursed her in the living room with the lights on, then brought her into her nursery and put her to sleep without nursing. She protested (loudly and violently) for about 2 minutes then was out. She has been sleeping for 2.5 hours at this point.

As usual, Lydia's timing kind of couldn't be more perfect (assuming there was any perfect time to get bad sleep). We will be moving in 1-2 weeks, so if we are going to go through a transition phase it might as well be now! Within 2 weeks we will be living somewhere new, I won't be working for the summer, and our days will look much different. Hopefully as we all settle into a new home and a new rhythm everything will fall into place.

Over the past few days I have just generally felt like I have a little baby again - and then I remember she still is a baby, in a lot of ways. The thing that I love most about parenting is that the moment you think you have it down, it hits you upside the head and reminds you that being a mommy is in no way about accomplishments: about sleeping through the night, or having a clean house, or being able to DO anything with your day. It is about having patience, kindness, gentleness, self control and humility. It is about loving your child - not mastering their habits. And this is always, always a good lesson to learn.

Oil Cleansing Method

I haven't washed my face in 2 weeks... which is a really big deal if you know me. I grew up with bad skin - I started with chemical filled creams in middle school, then graduated to taking antibiotics every day in high school. Finally in college I found a dermatologist who would prescribe me Accutane and went through a miserable 5 months with the payoff of tolerable skin. This may sound dramatic, and maybe it is, because when you have acne it is always 100x worse to you than it is to anyone else. But all I am trying to get at is that I have always felt a little uncomfortable with my skin and have always gone to lengths to take care of it in the best way I know how.

After Accutane and as I got further and further away from being a teenager my skin did get better. Much easier I guess. I didn't need pills, or creams, or even Proactiv anymore. Just a mild face wash and Cetaphil moisturizer twice a day, everyday. I was fine with this routine really, but one day my friend Holly (who has the same skin and hair as I do) mentioned using something called the oil cleansing method and I was intrigued. I have also been having a shift toward hippie tendencies in general lately which I hope to write about later, and the combination of the two within one week got me researching.

When I say researching I mean I read two articles, then decided to go for it. The best post that I found on the Oil Cleansing Method was written by Crunchy Betty. Her post on going without shampoo is really good too!! And ALMOST has my convinced :) Anyway, basically the idea behind the oil cleansing method is that by washing your face with chemicals you are stripping it of its natural oils, thus the need for another chemical-filled moisturizer afterwards. But if instead you simply use oils to open your pores, remove any make-up and take the dirt off, the balance of oils that your skin would naturally produce isn't thrown off. The result should be healthier skin, a lower maintenance routine, less expensive skin care stuff and a more "green" way to wash your face.

So, here is what I do and what you could do too! Crunchy Betty's site has more options, but this has worked for me.

What you will need:

A bottle of castor oil. You know, the nasty stuff that when ingested is supposed to help you go into labor. It is super cheap and can be found at a Target or Walmart-type store. I had to ask behind the counter to get mine. This is the part of the mix that will help clean your face.

Some extra virgin olive oil. You can try different types of oil here - this one is meant to make the application process easier.

A clean, empty bottle.

What you do:

I have "combination" skin - so not oily, nor dry, just somewhere in the middle. So I used 1 part castor oil to 3 parts olive oil. I started with 2 Tbs of castor oil and 6 Tbs of olive oil in my bottle. One night I just added them together and shook it up.

As you go forward you can decide what mixture works best for you. If your skin is getting dry add more olive oil to the mix. If it feels greasy or you feel like it isn't getting clean enough, add some castor oil. Just experiment a little!

Once you have the stuff, you will wash your face every other day. Get some hot (as hot as you can stand) water running in the sink and soak a washcloth. At the same time apply a dime to nickle-sized drop of oil onto your face. Rub it in really well and just spread it out to cover your whole face. Squeeze most of the water out of the washcloth and then place it over your face- kind of creating some steam for your skin. This is to allow your pores to open up and for the oil to get into your skin a little. Wipe the oil off with the wash cloth, then do one last rinse with more hot water.

In the beginning I was freaking out about not washing my face everyday. I wear make-up! What do I do! But I soon found out that warm water and a washcloth will remove my make up just fine, and I don't really HAVE TO wash my face in the morning... all I did was sleep, right?

The results - for me:

I was sure I was going to break out. But I didn't... not at all. I currently have around the same amount of breakouts that I did before, but now they seem a little different. More like clogged pores than giant, gross knots on my face. Also, I have had no need whatsoever for a moisturizer and my skin just feels so smooth all the time. The thing that surprised me most though is that this method has drastically the amount of blackheads that I have. My pores have definitely gotten smaller and I think the tone of my skin has improved. I should mention too that I haven't changed anything about my foundation - I use Loreal true blend liquid foundation when I teach and want to look older than 19, and on the weekends I wear Bare Minerals powder foundation.

Maybe I am crazy, but I think this method works way better for me. And it is so easy, and so cheap. After doing this experiment I would say I am definitely more open to trying other things like it. I use so many chemicals every day - on my skin, my clothes, my hair and in my home - without ever thinking about it. Don't get me wrong, there are awesome things about deodorant, mascara and laundry detergent. But if the cheaper, "greener" things work just as well (or better!) then I don't see why I wouldn't make a switch.

I will keep you posted and try to let you in on my experiments as they come :)

15 & 16 months

Today my baby is 16 months old - and she is just so much fun lately!! These past 2 months have been absolutely crazy, but really good too. Lydia is on the move, always into something and learning constantly. I have so much less free time throughout the day but I don't even mind because I have gained a new companion. We color together, go on walks, make dinner and do laundry. She is my little helper in everything I do and the vast majority of the time she is a pure joy to be around.

Her most favorite thing in the world right now is to be outside! At the dog park, on the swings or at the zoo - she is just happy to be in the sunshine. I am so, so happy that the weather is getting nicer and that being outside is something that I want too. Yesterday we went to the park and she was able to climb up the stairs by herself and go down the little slide by herself too! Seriously, she is just too big. She does tend to throw minor (or.. major) tantrums when we come inside...

Fish face at the zoo!

 Lydia's personality continues to blossom. She is such a little ham and makes funny faces all the time. People regularly comment on the variety of her expressions and she definitely always has her own opinion. It is very clear lately that David and I need to start talking about a discipline philosophy/plan because this little girl has some fire in her. She asserts her own will often and, like I mentioned above, has thrown plenty of tantrums. At this point I try to stay calm, ignore the tantrums, and make sure to ultimately assert my will upon her since I am the adult. A daily battle is diaper changes and putting her in her car seat. They each happen about 5 times a day - and yet she screams every time!

Along with her personality is coming a vocabulary. She can say so many words: mama, dada, Rooney, papa, nana, Josh, Aunt Jen, GiGi, pawpaw, mawmaw, more, all done, uh oh, no, yes, pretzel, water, night night, nurse... are you bored yet? There are a lot more - pretty much anything you say she tries to repeat. And beyond saying words, she is understanding sentences like crazy. Today I said, "Lydia, can you go pick up the green ball and throw it in the basket?" - and she did exactly that. She is also catching on to cause and effect which is awesome. It is incredible to see her learn! Really the best feeling in the world. She is also starting to show affection more often through hugs, kisses and loving on tiny babies. This last one doesn't help with baby fever by the way...

  
 

At her 15 month appointment Lydia weighed 20 lbs, 7 oz and was 30.5 inches long - hanging right around the 50th percentile still. Lydia is continuing to take 2 naps a day (at 10:30 and 3) although I am almost positive she is ready to transition to 1. Night sleeping has been rough - but I think most of it is due to the fact that I had to start nursing her to sleep again because David wasn't getting home until after her bedtime. Last night daddy put her to bed and she slept for 11 hours straight. She is nursing 3-4 times a day and it eating really well. Sometimes she will go through days or weeks when she is picky, but I do my best to restrict junk foods and soon enough she gets hungry enough to eat the good stuff again.

  

Another big update is that we started potty training! Well kind of.. About 3 weeks ago there were multiple days in a row when Lydia pointed to her diaper and said "poop" 5-10 minutes before she actually pooped. She was consistent in telling me and in being right. I didn't want to get into this whole process until at least 18 months, but I knew this was a big sign that she was probably ready. So I ordered an Elmo (her favorite!!!) potty off amazon and it came in the mail yesterday. Within the hour she had pooped in it... so crazy! We are no where close to being out of diapers, but the less dirty ones I have to change the better. I will keep you updated as the transition progresses :)

All in all our  little girl is just wonderful. I am so excited that I only have 3 weeks left until I get to spend all day every day with her! 

Our weekend

This weekend we did so many fun things. David has one more long weekend of work before tax season is OVER!! I can't wait- but in the meantime I have tried to keep busy. So this past weekend I made a trip to Lexington to see old friends. The trip definitely made me nostalgic for our wonderful times there. I visited the math department, hung out with our oldest, best friends and spend the night with my sister. Lydia was mostly great (she only threw a couple tantrums), and she slept wonderfully in her pack and play. On Saturday we ate delicious Magee's donuts, took a walk at the arboretum with my adorable pregnant friend, then met another friend's new baby.

On Sunday David and I got to go to the zoo together!! It was a beautiful day and an absolute blast. Lydia is at a great age for this and he loved it all. The manatees and fish were her favorite though... And the peacock!!

 

All in all it was a fantastic weekend. Now that spring has sprung I am kind of over working- so I am glad I only have three more weeks! 

Easter Pictures!!

Finally some pictures from our Easter! I hope you enjoy... They are taken mostly by other people while we are coloring eggs on Saturday, then spending Sunday with family hunting them! An sorry for the lack of captions- I am posting from the phone again :)

Cloth Diapering and (trying) to Go "Green"

I have written a few times about cloth diapering - once in the beginning to summarize gDiapers, and another time to talk about our switch to Grovia AIO's (all in one's). Since then we have switched again to Grovia soaker pads with Flip covers. In short, if you want to cloth diaper be open to trying new things, and if something about your diaper isn't working for your baby at that stage in their life then just try something new. There are SO many options.

As I mentioned before I started to use cloth diapers because they were cheap (free for me in the beginning actually), and since then they have continued to be a better financial choice. With cloth diapering you have to spend larger amounts of money at one time which can feel expensive at the time, but in one year of cloth diapering I have spent a total of about $375. That includes diapers, wet bags, cloth wipes, and diaper liners. The average parent spends $50 a month on diapers which is  $600 a year! Also, at this point the diapers that I have will probably last Lydia until she potty trains - so assuming that happens around 2 years make that $375 vs. $1200. Now, every now and then I buy disposables - for overnight or for long trips, but I still would tell anyone that if you want to save money with babies choose cloth!

So it started because I am frugal, but since then something has changed. In January Lydia got a yeast infection that was really hard to get rid of and during that time we switched to disposable diapers for about 3 weeks since the cream that the doctor gave us couldn't be used with our cloth diapers. Over those 3 weeks it hit me how accustomed I had become to washing my diapers rather than throwing them away... I just felt so wasteful! I am not saying using disposables is wasteful - it is totally a personal decision. It just surprised me how normal using cloth diapers had become to me; how making a decision to do something differently then changed what I saw as "normal".

Since then I have become a little bit inspired. I do so many things (especially around the house) because I think they are normal and it is just the way I have always done them. However, maybe if I just try to change them up I will be alright with a new normal. I would like to be less wasteful, more organic, more "green" in general. As I try new things I will let you know how they go!

15 Months Post Partum

I know that I said here that my 9 month post partum update would be my last, but lately I have been telling a lot of new mommies out there how much has happened to my body since that time. It took me 9 months to lose and keep off all of my baby weight, and I think that having it off by 9 months is a good, attainable goal. However, I now would advise most people to wait until 12 or 15 months post partum to expect to have their "old body" back.

 (3 days vs. 15 months post partum)

 Something has happened in the past few months and all of the sudden my tummy is flat, my face isn't chubby, I have more energy and my hormones have leveled out. I now feel so much more like my old self. Some things will never return to normal, but in general I look in the mirror and feel like me again.

 (8 months vs. 15 months post partum)

Around 13 months post partum I did Best Body Bootcamp, which I think helped move things along, and I also believe that extended breastfeeding has continued to keep my weight low (and in fact some days I still struggle to eat enough, depending on Lydia's preferences). But beyond the number on the scale I am finally seeing muscle tone again which was something I wasn't sure would ever come back!!

So in short... just be patient. Having a baby is a huge thing for your body to handle and sometimes I think we are too hard on ourselves and on other women. Some things just take time - and getting your old body back after baby is definitely one of them.

A new month - a new goal

I have missed blogging! And I like to think you may have missed it too. It is now April... and March just FLEW by. Seriously, I don't know what happened.

I know what didn't happen though - any writing. So I am going to try to make it more of a priority this month. I enjoy it, it is good for me and I LOVE being able to go back and look at the memories that I have logged.

Anyways, just dropping in to stay, "stick with me!". I have lots to tell you and I am hoping to start writing about some new subjects soon.

I will leave you with that nail biter :)

Inconsistent

Hello there... I am just popping in to say hello on my phone. The iPhone has kind of ruined my blog for a lot of reasons, but one is that since I can access my email and other important things from my phone I never have to pull out my actual computer. Therefore I rarely have it out to actually type a post!

My writing has been inconsistent as I am sure you can tell. I was doing so well over spring break!! Then my sleepy, sick baby hit the grumpy, sick phase and life had been crazy since then. Everyone is feeling better but our lives are just crazy. David is working 60+ hours a week and we had to get all of the house stuff squared away last week. My semester is making its last up hill climb of the semester and Lydia has been so much fun but also so much work lately.

I mainly wanted to say we are still here! Doing good, but definitely looking forward to a month from now when tax season and the semester will be over and we will be moving into our new house! Between then and now I hope to update you on Lydia, do one last post partum update on me and share some cute Easter pictures :) So thanks for being understanding and continuing to check in!

5 Things I Did Over Spring Break

I had a pretty good spring break! It was different than expected for a few reasons, but all in all it was a week of much needed rest. I had to work Tuesday and Thursday morning still (the 2 colleges I teach at have different spring breaks..) but I was off of work Monday, Wednesday and Friday and had very short days otherwise. Here are a few things that we did!

5. Played in the snow

Kentucky weather is pretty crazy in March, and most of my college spring breaks have involved snow. But none of them before this one involved this cute girl and snow.

4. Finished Best Body Bootcamp and shared the effects that it had on my body.

3. Learned how to curl my hair with no heat!! I did it again last night and it definitely curls up a lot tighter over night - so I will continue to experiment and perfect this method. I am really excited about this...

2. Took care of my sweet, sick baby girl. Obviously I am sad that she was so sick, but it was a good experience in its own way.

1. And last but definitely not least... we bought a house!!! We finished negotiation and signed all the papers, and the inspection will be on Friday. Assuming all goes well we will be closing on April 26th. I am beyond excited and as the time comes closer I will be sure to tell you more about the details of the house!

Now back to the swing of things... but I have less than 2 months left of working before taking the summer off :)

The Honor of Being a Mommy

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
-Elizabeth Stone

I think that being a mom gets a bad rap. It is most definitely challenging, time consuming, self-sacrificing and exhausting. It is also fun, inspiring and rewarding. Up until recently I may not have included the latter adjective because for a while mothering Lydia was rarely rewarding. I found it difficult to receive her affection when she was a newborn because I wasn't (and am still not) convinced that she was really giving it. As she has gotten older there are rewarding moments - when she says "mama", when she walks up to me and asks "up?", and when she leans in for an uninvited kiss. However, along with Lydia's new found communication skills has come a sense of independence. She prefers to read alone, loves to explore, and is offended by an invasion of her personal space. Other than nursing she and I have very few cuddly, calm moments. There are definitely days when I long for the past - when she would lay in my arms for hours and sleep soundly on my chest. All in all I enjoy toddler-hood much more than the newborn phase, but at the same time it is always hard to feel as though you are needed less and less.

But these past two days have been some of the most rewarding of my life thus far.

On Thursday Lydia wasn't feeling well. She had a bit of a cough and was running a low grade fever. I brought her home for her afternoon nap and she fell asleep with no problem. She slept for 2 hours and then it was time for David and I to go to small group. I left her with grandparents sure she was getting better, but when we got home the opposite was true. We were up all of Thursday night; Lydia was fighting a fever of 102 and David and I were typical "new" parents - waking her up to take her temperature and force a little Tylenol. I nursed her as her breathing became more shallow and her sleep more restless.

Friday morning I called the doctor and got scheduled for the first available appointment. My mom came over to hold an inconsolable Lydia so that I could brush my teeth and put on some clothes. We all headed to the doctor and received the news that Lydia had pneumonia... and I was devastated. She would be fine, but my baby girl was sick.

On Friday between 7:30 am and 9:30 pm Lydia Grace slept on my chest and nursed. She was maybe apart from me for an hour total throughout the day. My plans to go to Lexington were obviously cancelled and I set any to-do list aside. However, I felt no anger, disappointment or restlessness because there was no question in my mind as to where I wanted to be. I wanted to be with Lydia - holding her, comforting her and literally nursing her back to health.

As I listened to her labored breaths and gazed at her long eyelashes I was struck so many times with a feeling of honor. How do I deserve to be the mother of this precious child? Who am I to be entrusted with her care? Lydia was clear all day long - Daddy won't do, Nana isn't enough, sleeping alone is not an option - all she wanted was me. All she wanted was her mommy. And I felt so, so blessed to be that person.

Yesterday was truly a beautiful day. As I took care of Lydia my own mom refilled my glass of water, fed me lunch and drove us where we needed to go. This morning David's step mom and mom helped immensely by bringing me breakfast and getting Lydia what she needed. Mothers taking care of mothers taking care of daughters.

Lydia is doing much better now although she is definitely still on the mend. She slept in her crib last night from 9:30-5 (with David and I alternating checking on her) and has now been asleep in her crib for 3 1/2 hours (again with me checking on her every 45 minutes or so). She is on an antibiotic and I am so grateful for modern medicine. I know that we may have a long-ish road ahead, and although I would have never wished any sickness on my baby I am also thankful for what these 2 days have brought.

A new perspective - a gracious reward.  A true blessing of honor.

Best Body Bootcamp: Results

Happy Friday! I wanted to check in over here and tell you guys about the awesome results I got from Tina Reale's Best Body Bootcamp - Round 4. I would encourage any of you out there who think you would enjoy it to sign up for Round 5!

I plan on doing this Best Body Bootcamp every winter because it really gave me the motivation I needed while the weather was awful, and provided me with convenient yet effective at home workouts. Another thing that I loved about the program was that each week Tina challenged us to make 2 goals, and they didn't necessarily have to be fitness or health related. Because of this challenge I am now drinking more water, eating a fruit and veggie each day, regularly walking my beautiful dog and reading 2 books to Lydia each day. It is amazing how all it takes to develop some new habits (at least for me) is someone telling me I should.

All of these reasons are enough for me to highly recommend the program - but the added bonus is the amazing results that I saw in my body! I didn't do the fitness test at the beginning (I have no idea why... I guess I was lazy!), but I did take some body measurements. As the program progressed I definitely noticed some of my mommy belly going away and that my arms were getting stronger. When I took my after measurements today I had to do a couple double takes, and then re-measure.

As I suspected by hips and thighs stayed the same... I have a small bottom half no matter what I do. My bicep grew by 1/2 and inch, which is awesome, and my waist at its narrowest shrunk by 1/2 an inch. But I was so surprised to see that I had lost 3 pounds and that my waist at my belly button had shrunk by 2 inches! Craziness.

Needless to say I am happy with the results, and I am glad that I took a small risk to sign up. It helped motivate me in so many ways, and the program really came at the perfect time.

Let me know if you have any questions, and I encourage you to visit Tina's site for answers as well!

House Hunt - The Offer

Yesterday we put an offer in on a house... and we are so, so excited about it!

Everything happened faster than we expected. David said something that was so true about a week ago - "Just like when you are looking for a puppy, don't look for a house until you are ready to buy one." It was crazy how quickly we went from having no idea what we wanted to narrowing things down to exactly what we wanted. Before the whole experience David and I made a "must have", "nice to have" and "bonus" list of qualities. This house has all of our must and nice-to haves, and 3/4 of our bonus things!

It hasn't all been easy (although it has been pretty easy), and I know the process isn't finished yet. We found another house earlier on that we like A LOT, but it sold before we were comfortable enough to make any kind of offer. After that we felt a little defeated - you spend time telling yourself why a house will be perfect and then someone else buys it! But looking back we would have made compromises with that house that I think we would have regretted.

We know God has a house picked out just for us, and as much as we hope it is this one, if it isn't we trust that there is a reason. We feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be looking for our own home for our little family, and it is incredible to start to picture our lives together in this home.

I promise to keep you updated! And your thoughts and prayers for a smooth process would be so appreciated.

No Heat Headband Curls

Lately I have been hating my hair... David likes it long, but I like it short. I guess I am growing it out for him. although while it was short I definitely found myself wishing I could put it in a pony tail or curl is for a date. Yesterday when my friend posted a picture of her no heat curls on instagram, I knew I had to try whatever she did.

I don't love using a curling iron... the curls always come out a little bit too tight for me. My hair is very soft and doesn't have much personality, so its tendency is to be flat and boring. I have wanted to find a way for a very long time to shower at night and then have my hair look nice in the morning. Getting up and ready for work by 7:20 is not so fun with a 14 month old - so I thought that cutting out the shower would help. I think I have found the answer!

So, I mainly followed these two tutorials (here and here), but if you just google "no heat headband curls" tons will pop up. Try to find a girl with similar hair to you that way you have a better idea of how it will turn out.

Basically, at 8 am I got my hair a little damp and used an elastic headband (that I had sewn together around 7:30) to wrap my hair around. See the tutorials for these details... I am not such a great teacher with hair.

I looked like a ninja and David was sure to secretly snap a picture of me before he left for work.

I made coffee, ate breakfast, changed a diaper and played for a while, and then put Lydia down for her nap. At 10 I lifted the headband off of my forehead and shook the hair off. It looked a little crazy and I got nervous.

I got dressed (don't judge... I am on spring break) did some stuff around the house and just let the curls relax a bit. By 11 they looked better so I put some smoothing stuff in to add texture and gave it a quick spray.

It probably helps that in this picture I am wearing some makeup and real clothes. I should add that this is second day hair! Next time I am going to try showering at night and letting my hair dry 90% of the way, then sleeping with the ninja look. David will love it I am sure.

I am pretty impressed by the method and really excited that I found a new way to do my hair! You should try it, and let me know what you think :)

Best Daddy Ever

I will try to be brief here because I don't want to brag too much. But one of my most favorite parts of Lydia coming into our lives has been watching David become a father. He is a wonderful dad in so many ways and each day I am so grateful for such an awesome partner in the adventure that is parenting.

This picture illustrates in many ways why David is so special. Every day Lydia longs to go play outside which is great... Except that it has been freeeeeeeeezing here. I am so over winter. So while she whines and cries (and scream sans throws tantrums) at the back door I try to explain to her the logical reasons why we can't go outside to play. It is cold. She will get sick. Mommy really doesn't feel it is the best use of time to bundle up in 4 layers just to swing and play for 5 minutes.

And what does David do? He takes her outside to swing. No excuses. No rationalization. Just patient, perfect, spontaneous flexibility. We balance each other (almost) perfectly as parents and I am oh so thankful for this amazing man!!

Happy Friday friends!!

Getting Motivated

I must admit that about a month ago I was in a funk.

I felt kind of lost as a part-time professor and a full-time mom. After working for 5 hours each morning I would pick Lydia up from the sitter's house and we would come back home. I would fix us some lunch and spend a few precious moments with my girl, but then she would be ready for her afternoon nap. The dreaded afternoon nap...

I know that most people look forward to this, but once I laid Lydia down and left the nursery I didn't know what to do. I wanted to rest from working, but I also wanted to get out. Each day I felt stuck; on the days when I did chores I was exhausted by the time Lydia woke up, and on the days when I rested (aka watched Gossip Girl or caught up on blogs) I felt grouchy and restless by the time David got home.

The solution to my problem came with Best Body Bootcamp. I wrote a little bit about it when I first started, and I plan to give a progress report once it is over, but today I just want to write about how this small thing made such a big change in my day. Once I paid (a very small amount of) money to sign up for these workout routines, I became motivated to do them. Because I am very, very frugal. So slowly but surely as January wore on I formed a habit. During Lydia's afternoon nap I took some time for myself - I got up off the couch, focused on strengthening my body, and got my endorphins pumping. At first I felt guilty because taking this time for me meant doing laundry and dishes while Lydia was awake. However, I soon came to realize that a 14 month old loves to do dishes and laundry too! Once I started to involve Lydia in my daily chores and took some time to do something that was good for me each day we hit a wonderful stride.

Every day is not perfect. Sometimes I still eat M&M's and watch house hunters as Lydia snoozes. Somedays Lydia is grumpy so I don't have the chance to vacuum. But in general taking this small step towards getting motivated while I am at home has done wonders. I know I am an achiever; that I like to feel like I have accomplished something in a day. And I also know that I should never feel like a failure when I don't accomplish my goals for the day. My value runs deeper than these small things, but small things can make a difference too.

Since learning to workout at home and how to involve my toddler in things around the house our days are so much more enjoyable together! Just thought I would share a bit about our rhythms lately. What kind of rhythm do you have at home? Has anything motivated you lately?

14 months

As usual lately, this post is late. I have fallen out of the habit of writing somehow and I think it is a combination of things. First of all we are busy! It is tax season so David is gone Mon-Fri 7:45-6:45 and on Saturdays from 7:30-5, my job is ramping up because it is midterm, and we are spending some of our free time looking for houses. It is all good stuff, but our days are just packed full. Secondly, Lydia is just too much fun for me to sacrifice time with her for blogging. We go on walks, read books, dance around and do chores together, and when she naps I have been in the habit of doing my Best Body Bootcamp workouts. But, I do want to keep it somewhat updated - both for you and for me :)

14 months has just been awesome. Lydia has mastered moving and is now onto other things, like talking, feeding herself and learning. She is so, so smart and I feel like everyday she learns something new.

On this days she learned the word "hat".

Feeding herself some yogurt.

She is constantly fluctuating between wanting to be held and being little miss independent. She melts my heart when she walks up, raises her arms and says "up", and breaks it a little when she runs away from me without glancing back once.

 

These days Lydia LOVES to be outside - and she may throw a tantrum everyday it is below freezing since I refuse to let her out.

She has continued to imitate everything we do. She brushes her teeth each morning with us, likes to hold the dog leash when we walk, and usually practices her down dog each afternoon when she wakes up from her nap.

And her expressions... oh my goodness. This girl has looks that can kill, and looks that can make you crack up laughing.

Lydia is still taking 2 naps a day and is sleeping pretty well at night. She gets up SO early (around 5:30), but our whole family has to get up early this semester so it isn't a huge deal. Lydia still nurses 3-4 times a day, and eats solid food like crazy!

All in all Lydia is quite simply a joy! She is so sweet, smart and funny and I am more and more proud each day to be her mommy.