Our "Sleep Training" Story

* Since this post turned into a novel I made sections...*

 Back Story
Never in my life had I thought I would worry so much about sleep. But once you have a baby it becomes a top priority. You crave sleep because you don't get as much as you used to, and at least for me I worried about getting Lydia the amount of sleep that she needed so that she would grow and thrive like she should.

As I have mentioned before in her monthly posts Lydia started out as a great sleeper - in fact maybe too great. She preferred sleeping over eating during her first 6 weeks and even though this was a struggle for us it was nice to be able to get at least one 4-5 hour stretch of sleep each night. Starting at 6 weeks Lydia started to become aware of her surroundings, particularly of me being with her. She started to wake up every time we laid her down in her pack and play, and this made for a lot of naps taken on our chest or in the Moby. We got a baby swing which solved the nap issue, and as for sleeping at night we decided we would try her out in our bed.

Before she was born I never even thought about co-sleeping as an option but once we tried it and convinced ourselves that it was safe and healthy for us I was in love. I loved everything about her sleeping with us - cuddling in the evenings, waking up to her sweet face in the mornings. Plus, once I had mastered the side-laying nursing I barely had to move when she woke up to eat at night and her night wakings averaged once or twice over a 12 hour period. We were getting some good sleep, and we were all happy with the arrangement so we decided to stick with the strategy until grad school was finished.

Frustration Begins
Around finals time (of course) Lydia started to make it clear that things were changing for her. She needed fewer naps a day but they needed to be good naps, and rather than going to bed with us around 8:30 or 10 she was getting sleepy and grumpy around 8. She was also waking up more at night, flailing around in the bed and getting too warm when she slept next to us. We just tried to make it few the last weeks as well as we could, but we were all becoming less satisfied with our sleep situation.

Once we moved and I stayed home with her for a few days her nap preferences became very clear to me. If she woke up at 9 in the morning she was tired around 10:30, 1:30 and 4 - like clockwork. So I began to anticipate these sleepy times and I could easily nurse her to sleep and then lay her in her swing. She would nap for an hour to an hour and a half each time and then she was happy for the rest of the day! However nights just got harder. Now she was getting sleepy around 7:30, but would wake up every time we laid her down so I was stuck going to bed with her WAY too early or holding her for 3+ hours every night. I should also mention that by now David and I had more free time in the evenings since homework is history (whoo hoo!!) so we were wanting time to ourselves badly. For two weeks we tried anything and everything to get Lydia to sleep independently even if it was just a few hours in the evening. We tried laying her down in her pack and play, in our bed, in her swing. We tried to comfort her immediately after she started crying and then lay her back down but even after 3 1/2 hours she hadn't gotten the message. We tried swaddling her up, feeding her some rice cereal and sneaking out of bed once she was sleeping. Nothing was working.

Implementing a Strategy
After a few nights of tears David and I decided that Lydia needed to sleep independently of us, and for this to happen there was going to be some crying. So I read about a few sleep training methods, we went ahead and set up her crib mattress and nursery and we decided on a week when we could both be committed to getting her to sleep. I mostly used Baby Center and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child as references - as well as friends' and families' personal advice to devise a plan. The most important point across the board was to be consistent once you start with any kind of sleep strategy. This is what worked for us and I know that sleep is a very controversial thing in the parenting world. But just in case any of you out there may need help in the future I wanted to tell you in detail what it looked like for our family.

Night #1 - I pumped in the morning, and we fed her a 7oz bottle around 7:00. David gave her a bath, and put lotion on her. I was nursing her by 7:30 and she was asleep in my arms by 7:45. I laid her in her crib and we swaddled her legs and laid her with a Boppy pillow around her shoulder area. (The Boppy wouldn't be safe for a younger baby, but at this point Lydia is very mobile with her head and arms.) She woke up at 11:15 and we let her cry for 3 minutes. Then David went in with a pacifier and held her while she cried for another 15 minutes. She finally fell back asleep and he laid her down. She woke up again at 12:30, and since this was more than 4 hours after I had nursed her (that was a sufficient amount of time that I chose personally), I went in and nursed her again, then laid her down. She slept until 6! Then I went in and nursed her and she wasn't falling back asleep easily so I brought her into our bed and she slept until 8:45.

Night #2 - She got a 7 oz bottle at 7, bath and nursed for 20 minutes. When I laid her down she immediately woke up. I left the room and let her cry. After 5 minutes David went in and put her back to sleep with a pacifier, and laid her down. She immediately woke up, and he let her cry for 8 minutes while I took a shower. Then David went back in, repeating the soothing process until she was asleep again. He laid her down, she woke up, we left her to cry for 10 minutes. At this point I was in tears too, so we went upstairs for a few minutes and talked to his dad and step mom. After the 10 minutes Lydia was still crying, so I went in and soothed her to sleep with a pacifier. I laid her down once she was asleep (by this time it was about 9:00) and she slept until 4 in the morning. I went in and nursed her, put her back in the crib and she slept until 8:30.

Night #3 - Bottle, bath and nurse starting at 7, and Lydia stays asleep when she is laid down without any problem. She wakes up around 11 and David goes to soothe her back to sleep (we decided we want to respond to her immediately when she awakes from being asleep). She sleeps until 2:30 when I go into feed her, and then wakes up again around 6:30. I bring her into bed with us and she sleeps until 8:30.

Night #4 - Bottle, bath and nurse starting and 7 and Lydia stays asleep when she is laid down. She wakes up around 9 and David soothes her back to sleep. She wakes up at 3 and I go to feed her and then she wakes up for the day at 8.


Where we are now
Obviously night #2 was the worst, and I know it has only been a few nights but it seems like we are settling into a schedule. She is now much more responsive to David soothing her with a pacifier than she was before, and she is much less sensitive to waking up when we lay her down. I am perfectly happy to get up once or twice over a 12 hour period to feed her since she is still exclusively breastfed, and I am so happy with how things are working out so far! I think Lydia is a very easy baby, and now that David and I have a few hours each evening to be alone and Lydia is sleeping for large chunks of time each night we are all much happier.

She is still taking naps in her swing or her car seat, and they occur pretty regularly: her first nap is 1 1/2 hours after she wakes up, then her second nap is 3 hours later, and her 3rd nap is 2/12 to 3 hours after that. Her first nap lasts for 60-90 minutes, her second lasts for about an hour, and her third lasts for 45-60 minutes. She definitely naps more consistently when she is in her swing, but she also feels comfortable in her car seat which is so convenient! Eventually I would prefer her to take naps in her crib rather than her swing but I think we will wait a couple weeks for that transition.

Every baby is different, and parenting choices are always very personal. As long as you are loving toward your baby and meeting all of their needs I really don't think you can make a wrong decision as a parent. One piece of advice that I have gotten is to just do what you as a mom are comfortable with. When you are comfortable and and happy, your baby will be too. I am happy to say that we are all better rested and less frustrated around these parts! And I kind of feel like I have my life back too :) If you have any questions just leave a comment and I can try to answer you with what worked for us.

Our New Place

I talked in this post about our plan for this summer. Basically David is studying full time for the Bar (Monday-Friday 9-6 and Saturday from 10-2) while I am staying home full time with Lydia. We are definitely in an "in between" time in our lives. We are hoping that David will get a job by August, and if not then I will go back to work around that time. But for now we are enjoying a little bit of a slower life and reaping the harvest of the good financial decisions that we have made over the past 3 years. However, this "time off" for us when we don't have an income is possible only due to the immense generosity of our family. One of the many ways in which our family is helping us during this time is by giving us a place to live... for free! Even if we had had the money it would have been very difficult to sign a lease for an apartment since we don't know where David will get a job in a couple months, so we are so thankful for David's dad and step-mom who have opened up the doors of their basement apartment to us.

The place is finally unpacked, clean and mostly set up, so now for some pictures of our new home.

 This is the view from our "front door" which is actually around the back of the house. We have a swing set, wonderful back yard, deck (which is great for laying out!) and a grill.

 When we get tired of the sun we also have a covered patio to hang out on.

 We have our own entrance downstairs which makes our place feel really private.

Here is the view when you walk in... Kitchen table, kitchen area and living room are behind it. Off the kitchen is our bathroom and a hall that leads to our bedroom.

Today is laundry day, so our bedroom is a bit taken over by cloth diapers and clean sheets, but you get the idea. We have so much space in this place for our clothes! At our old apartment David and I shared a very small closet and it was very cramped, but here we each have a dresser and our own closet.

 We don't have a stove in our kitchen area, but that is about it. We eat breakfast and lunch down here most days, and for dinners we see family or cook upstairs.

 Our living area is set up just like it was in our old apartment.

 Behind the loveseat in the living room is this little area where Lydia usually plays. Her exersaucer and toys are set up here as well as our bookshelf. The stairs lead to the upstairs and that door leads to my favorite room in the place... the nursery!!

                    

The nursery isn't very "themed", and it is a little messy in this picture, but you get the idea. The quilt on the rocking chair usually hangs on her crib, and it was made by my Aunt Judy. The quilt on the floor was also made by Aunt Judy (when my sister was baby) and I like to lay it there so that Lydia has a play area where she can lay on her tummy, spit up all she wants and roll around. It is nice to just be able to pick the quilt up and throw it in the washer each week, plus it adds lots of pretty pastel colors. We might hang curtains over the mirrors, and I will for sure be making a crib skirt soon. I LOVE having a nursery for Lydia. It was fine for her to share our room for the first few months - even if we had space my guess is she would have ended up in our room anyway. But now she is ready for her own space and we are ready for her to have it.

Her furniture was the furniture in my room growing up. She has two dressers, and the matching desk worked perfectly as a changing table.

And here is half of the closet which takes up a whole wall in her room. We have another dresser tucked away in this closet as well as most of my clothes and shoes. Again, it is so wonderful to have so much storage!

So, there you have it. Our new home. I must admit that I was nervous about moving back up to NKY. We had been living in Lexington and had been very independent for 7 years, so I was scared we wouldn't feel like we had our own space and privacy. As it turns out I had nothing at all to worry about. We have all of the privacy that we need and at the same time all of our family is close which I LOVE. I can just grab lunch with my mom, take a walk with David's mom, and walk upstairs to attend the weekly Sunday dinners. Family events are so much less stressful now that we have our own place to retreat for nap times and bedtime, and we really love living close to the people we love so much.

Seven Snapshots "Sunday"

I know, I know... it isn't Sunday. And I really have no excuse. I haven't been doing much of anything lately, other than hanging out with family, being a mommy and reading some good books. But is is awesome, so no apologies here :) Blogging is a hobby, but for me even my hobbies have to be habits - and when we moved most of my habits were lost! But this week I really plan on re-incorporating this habit because I miss it, and I have so much to tell you. So I figured I would start by catching up, because I know how disappointed many of you would be without pictures of our girl.

So Thankful

Right now I am sitting on our couch listening to David sing Lydia to sleep in the other room. Sleep has been a rough, rough thing around here lately... probably the hardest patch we have been through thus far. We are trying to devise a plan that we are comfortable with to help Lydia sleep independently but it is really difficult! I have a million emotions that play into trying to make this decision and it has been weighing heavily on me.

However, David is his usual, calm steady self. I have never been more thankful for David and his "chill" attitude than in these last 5 months. We are so different in many ways, and I would be lying if I said it didn't make it difficult sometimes. We don't always see eye to eye and that makes for some conflict every now and then. But in these moments - the real life, tough, emotional moments - I am so glad that David is nothing like me. I love the unique qualities that he has that really make us a great team, and make him a wonderful, perfect partner in the adventure that is parenting.

Just a few thoughts as I try to clear my mind after a stressful night.

Seven Snapshots Sunday: Zoo Edition

Today was a wonderful Sunday! Tomorrow is our nephew's 4th birthday, so this morning we all went out to the Cincinnati Zoo to celebrate. My side of our family and David's side of the family has zoo passes, so admission was free (sweet!), and since it was such a great experience we will be going back a lot this summer. Lydia did fantastic! I was so nervous that she would get grumpy an hour into the day, but she stayed awake for almost 3 hours looking around at the people, scenery and animals. She let everyone hold her and was just so content even though it was sunny and hot. Around 11:45 she fell asleep in Daddy's arms, and then napped for an hour and half in the stroller.

Here are a few photos from Lydia's first trip to the zoo.

 Lydia by the camel! But she is more excited about the water bottle.

 Ms. Smiley in her stroller. She finally likes it I think.

 On Pawpaw's shoulders.

 She's already got her hands on Daddy's wallet ;)

 Riding the carousel! Surprisingly, she loved it.

Family pic :)

Even though we had a good day we have been having some really rough nights around these parts. Step #1 in sleep training has been for David to put her to sleep instead of using me as the human pacifier. It is really, really hard. She cries and cries even though her daddy is holding her. More on this to come as our plan (hopefully) progresses, but for now I am trying to distract myself by showering, painting my toenails and reading. Hopefully tonight is better!

5 months

On Wednesday Lydia turned 5 months old. For some reason 5 months sounds so old to me... at least in baby terms. I think that every month that goes by has been my favorite so far, and it feels like the rate at which she changes just keeps increasing!

Her stats: Remember when I said that people's comment for our little girl was always, "She is so little!" Well now we are onto the "She is so chubby!" stage. Lydia weighs about 15 pounds which is around the 25th percentile, and she is 24 inches long. All of the sudden her 3-6 month clothes fit her perfectly and 0-3 month things are not even an option. She has rolls on her arms, dimples on her thighs and chins that go on for days and I love it!

Eating: It is probably apparent from the above paragraph, but this girl loves to eat. I have started to change up her nursing lately - now she only eats from one side at a time (except for right before bed). So now she is nursing every 1.5-2 hours (about 7 times a day) for only 5 or 10 minutes each time. I find this so be more convenient, and at the moment she puts herself to sleep for naps by nursing so the more frequent nursing makes things flexible.

We haven't started any kind of solid food and we don't plan to until 6 months. Up until a few days ago Lydia was completely uninterested in food, but now all of the sudden she looks at what we eat and her hands go right for our food at mealtime. We have been giving her a few things to try - an orange, a little bit of ice cream, a tiny bit of banana - and she really has liked all of it. It makes me sad to think that soon she will be gaining sustenance from something other than me, but I am excited at the same time. This month I plan to read a little bit about introducing solid food and once I find the way I want to do it I will let you know. As with everything baby there are lots of options and opinions.

Sleeping: About two weeks ago, right around finals time (of course) Lydia started to fight naps hard and sleep poorly at night. I started to feel guilty that we hadn't gotten her on a real sleep schedule yet and it was really hard. However, in the past 3 days since we have moved she has been doing great! She is still sleeping in her bed, but a few nights ago we started the transition to the pack and play. David and I have decided to start out slow because we aren't sure if we are comfortable to let her cry, so our first goal is to put her to sleep in her pack and play and try to extend the amount of time she sleeps there. Last night it only lasted 25 minutes, the second night it was 40 minutes and last night she stayed there for an hour and half! At this point David and I just want some time together in the evenings (ideally 8-10:30), and once we have that we will go from there.

During the day she takes three naps, one around 10:30, another around 2, and her third at 5 or 5:30. I nurse her to sleep and she easily transitions to her swing. For now this is fine, but once we have night time sleep down a little bit better I hope to be able to vary the places she takes naps and ideally she will learn to fall asleep on her own.

What she loves: Eating, anything that lights up and makes noise, Daddy, Rooney, bath time, diaper changes.

What she hates: Crowds of people, being sleepy, sore gums (from teething!)

Personality/Milestones: Just in the past week or so Lydia has mastered sitting up on her own. It is so awesome to be able to sit her down on the floor on a blanket with her toys and just let her play. Every once in a while she will fall backwards or roll forward, so I usually leave a Boppy pillow behind her but she is really learning to catch herself most of the time. She still isn't rolling over consistently, but when we lay her on her tummy she has started to pull her legs up underneath her body.

She smiles so much and giggles every now and then and she is super aware of people around her. Like I said above, she is not a fan of large crowds especially if I am not around (she cried hard and long for my mom during David's graduation ceremony) and I am noticing separation anxiety popping up now and then. She is interested in toys that light up and make noise and her grabbing skills are getting impressive.

Lydia is starting to cut teeth and every now and then you can tell it is really painful for her. It is hard to know what to do when we can tell that she is in pain, but lately she has found her fingers to chew on when her teeth start to bother her.

Heaven-sent baby items:

I can't believe I haven't mentioned the Sleep Sheep yet! This cute cuddly stuffed animal comes with a white noise maker built in. It makes different noises (like ocean, whale, stream, etc) and Lydia sleeps with it next to her during every nap. We have a white noise maker that we plug in at night, but the Sleep Sheep is awesome because you can take it with you anywhere and it takes batteries. White noise is a must have in my opinion when you have a little one!

 We set up Lydia's exersaucer a few days ago and she absolutely loves it! This is the main "toy" that she has, and although it is kind of big I think that it is worth it. It is nice to have a place where she can stand up and play by herself while I take a shower or get some chores done. We have the one found here.

Words from Daddy: Lately Lydia has been sitting up a lot more and it is amazing to see her sitting there looking like a little person instead of a (cute) baby blob. She has also gotten a lot better at grabbing things and manipulating them which comes in handy because she wants everything to end up in her mouth. She has been grabbing my face with both of her hands a lot which she also wants to put in her mouth... Also, it seems like she has gotten more comfortable with new people and new places and this has been nice to see, especially now that she has all of this extra time with her grandparents!

Now onto finishing our unpacking! We are almost there and then I will give you a tour of our new place :) Have a great weekend.

Seven Snapshots "Sunday"

Sorry about slacking with the blog, but between all of the packing, moving, unpacking and taking care of Lydia I have had zero free time! Hopefully in the next few days we will finish things up and I will be able to enjoy summer. I took lots of pictures this week! Lydia is really starting to sit up on her own and so I am enjoying the new angles and faces that I can get.

Have a wonderful Monday!!

The Final Countdown: Days 5-1

If you missed the account of what we did during days 10-6 you should check it out here. And now to continue and finish (sniff, sniff) the list.

Day 5 - On Monday evening after a day full of packing David, Lydia Rooney and I walked out to the Henry Clay Estate. This is a beautiful estate-turned-park that we walk to 3-4 times a week. I will really miss the beauty of the place!

 The evening started our beautiful but quickly turned stormy! We got caught in the rain on the way home, and even though it was a little crazy it was a fun memory.

Day 4 - On Tuesday evening I went to one of my favorite restaurants, Bourbon and Toulousse, with friends from my grad program. This restaurant is cajun style and my favorite thing to get there is actually a vegetarian dish, black beans and carmelized corn. Everything there is pretty spicy but so, so tasty and it is really reasonably priced. I will miss it a lot! Lydia wore cute flowered tennis shoes to dinner, which I thought was important for you to know.

Day 3 - I told you these last days would have a lot of food in them and I wasn't kidding. On Wednesday David and I cleaned out our kitchen and it was a beautiful night, so we decided that a picnic at the park (specifically, the Arboretum) would be a great option. For dinner we picked up Sonic - one of the few fast food places that David and I go to sometimes. We both LOVE their cheeseburger and cherry limeade, and even though there is one in NKY it is kind of far away from where we will be living, so I don't see us going there much.

Day 2 - On Thursday David and I got one of our favorite cups of coffee in Lexington from a coffee shop called Common Grounds. Him and I spent almost every Saturday morning at Common Grounds last semester and the semester before that doing homework. Even though homework on the weekends is never fun it was better to do it at a relaxing, comfy coffee shop than at home.

Day 1 - Friday afternoon David, Jen, Lydia and I all went to a local restaurant called Alfalfa for lunch. They use all local ingredients and have lots of vegetarian options at this quaint eatery in the middle of downtown, but all of us got some yummy, meaty sandwiches and it was delicious! They also serve really, really good brunch on the weekends.

Day 0 - On Saturday morning we indulged yet again in our doughnut obsession by getting ourselves and all of our family that was helping us move some Spauldings doughnuts. This bakery is only a few minutes from our apartment also and their doughnuts are so good! Every morning there is a line out the door, and once they sell out of the doughnuts they close down shop for the day. The adorable elderly couple that owns the bakery only accept cash, but if you don't have any on hand the cute, sweet old lady gives you the doughnuts anyway and says you can pay her back next time (we made this mistake the first time we went).

There you have it! All of the spots we were sure to hit up during out last 10 days in Lexington. Sitting on my couch at our new place in NKY I already miss certain things about the city, mostly the wonderful friends that we made who we won't be seeing quite as often. I am sure that we will look back at our 7 years in Lexington and wonder how we ever did it - and that place will always hold a very special place in our heart. We graduated twice from UK, we spent our first 3 years as a married couple there, and our beautiful little girl was born there. Lexington will always hold so many happy memories for us! Now on to making new memories :)

Packing

To make up for Seven Snapshots Sunday I will post some photos of what we have been doing lately.. which is mostly packing! But we are also doing some last Lexintonian things also, which I will post about soon, and of course spending all day everyday together as a family! It is wonderful.

These pictures pretty much sum up our week.

 Lydia in the moby, our cat sitting in strange places, and a huge thing of vinegar on the table.

 Empty shelves!

 Our second bedroom full of boxes! Our apartment is teeny, so as soon as things are out of place there is very little room to walk.

 Lydia has been allowed to nap anywhere she want this week! Sidenote - isn't this quilt that my great aunt made for her beautiful?

 

 After giving away 7 pairs of shoes I still have an entire laundry basket full. How does this even happen?

 Rooney got shaved for summer! I was so nervous to do it, but he looks so adorable - just like a puppy again. And now he is much more comfortable and there is much less dog hair infesting our home.

Stay tuned for the last of the final countdown!