Patience is a Virtue

I haven't written a real post this week because I have been waiting. I wanted to be able to tell you that David had found a job - that within one week we had gone from knowing so little about our future to knowing much more. But, even after a very good interview this past Monday we still have no word. David had gotten a couple leads but none of them have come through yet. Don't get me wrong - I am beyond words proud of my husband. I am so impressed that he graduated law school and passed the Bar (scoring in the 82nd percentile!) with a newborn. I know that he is going to be a very successful lawyer and find a job that he loves all in God's timing. I know that in the meantime we have an incredible situation due to generous family and an abundance of opportunities for me.

But... we still have to wait. It has been almost 6 months since we graduated and in some ways it feels like we are no closer to where we want to be. Our dream as a family is to have a home that I can focus on, and a job where David can use all of his talents - and we hope that together these two components can create a wonderful childhood for Lydia (and hopefully subsequent kiddos). It's November now, and somedays it is just difficult to still be sharing a car, to be the only people in our social circle without a smart phone, and to be an indefinite amount of time away from buying a house. It isn't only the material things that we struggle with though - it is just the feeling of building something and getting some where that I often miss.

However, I think that it is in these difficult days that I am learning true patience. In the past I have been good at waiting - waiting to get married, waiting to graduate, waiting to have a baby. But all of these things had a real and concrete "due date". The most difficult thing right now is having no idea when we will take our next steps forward. Again, I have faith that we won't wait forever (and judging by the wisdom of all the encouraging people around me, one day we will look back at this time in our life and think it flew by), but we really have no control over when a great opportunity will open up for David. It has been in walking through this tunnel with no light at the end that has taught me how to truly be patient. How to live every day in the present instead of worrying about the future. How to relinquish the lie that I can control anything, and in contrast just start enjoying the blessings. How to force my heart to feel what my mind already believes.

So I think that it is better that I write this post. The one that says we are still waiting... we haven't heard anything... we don't know our next steps. But we are still so, so blessed. And abundantly joyful.