New Year

This time of your always gets me reflecting, as it does most people. Another year is wrapping up, and a new one is on the horizon. I love new beginnings - setting goals, starting a new schedule, looking forward. But I also think it is important that before I do so I think back to 2012 because it has been a really, really good year.

2012 was the year of change and challenge for our family. Lydia was born at the tail end of 2011, and the first couple weeks with her were wonderful. David and I were both home all the time and had no worries or time constraints. We could enjoy our newborn baby, get some rest and have fun during the Christmas season. But as 2012 began we had to arrange for babysitters, try to get Lydia on a schedule, crack open our textbooks and start our last semester of graduate school. January through April were quite simply a blur. I felt I got to enjoy moments with Lydia that I will cherish forever, but in general our lives were pretty crazy. We put our heads down, did our best and in May both graduated in the presence of our proud families.

But graduating was only the beginning. Within a week we had moved back "home" and a whole new set of obstacles awaited us. I was blessed to take the summer off of working and enjoyed pool days with my baby as David studied constantly for the Bar Exam. It was difficult to feel cheated out of the "light at the end of the tunnel".  I thought everything would be different - that David would be able to be around for all of the family festivities and vacations. But in a lot of ways it felt like more of the same; except I had the advantage of being surrounded by family. Over the summer I struggled with my identity as a wife and mother and constantly worried about David's elusive first job.

Being the do-er that I am, I decided I would work in the fall in order to support our family's small financial needs. I was so unsure about starting work again, but as it turned out I loved it! As I began teaching and engaging my mind I felt I was better all around and I legitimately enjoyed each day with Lydia and David. However, there was always the question haunting my mind... What were we doing? What was our future going to look like? In November (right after Thanksgiving) David got his job, and in perfect timing too. We have had the opportunity to enjoy the holidays without any burden of work and it has been truly amazing. We knew it was an opportunity that we would probably never have again and so we did our best to pack each day full of memories and intentional moments.

Looking back, I realize that I spent a lot of 2012 waiting - actively and (mostly) patiently waiting that is. I have learned so much about myself and have been challenged to relinquish the lie that I am in control. I have learned to be content in the present rather than relying on exciting anticipation of the future to be joyful. I have been taught the importance of thankfulness and because of it I wake up each day with a heart full of gratitude to all that I have an all of the love that surrounds me.

I am excited for 2013, and naturally I am nervous. We are still in a time of transition and I know that David working 50 hours a week while I work 25 will not be easy to get used to. But our goals and direction are now more clear and we are ready to work hard so that we can begin to create our own home for our little family. The years truly go by faster and faster; and now I realize that with kids it seems the world spins twice the rate it used to. As we ring in the New Year tonight I hope it bring with it just as many challenges, blessings, and opportunities that 2012 did. And I pray that it will be a good year for you too!