Breastfeeding: Chapter 1

As Lydia begins experiencing solid food lately I find myself being a bit sad that the first chapter of our breastfeeding experience is quickly coming to an end. She was exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of her life - which means that every ounce she gained, every roll and dimple she developed, every way her body grew was due to the milk my body was producing. This fact truly blows my mind when I really think about it and inspires awe for my own body. Now she is tasting potatoes, bananas, whipped cream, peas, yogurt, carrots and much more, and although she is currently still nursing as often as she was before, I know that it is only a matter of time before she cuts down on our intimate, precious moments together.

I must admit that anytime I hear that a woman and her baby have no problem breastfeeding from the beginning I get a little jealous. My mind goes back to the first 5 days of Lydia's life. David, Lydia and I struggled every 2-3 hours to get her to latch, then if she latched we struggled to keep her awake, then if she actually had a good session we had a hard time waking her up next time, and the process repeated. I remember seeing a lactation consultant 3 days after Lydia was born and feeling justified in my pain when I saw her reaction to my "nursing wounds". Even if Lydia was eating alright I was constantly taking care of myself before and after nursing her - and when you have a newborn who eats about 10 times a day you already feel like all you do is breastfeed! I could never find anything to wear, I was constantly leaking, I was in pain every time; it was kind of miserable.

Around 4 weeks I felt like we had kind of hit a stride. Everything was still painful but the bleeding had gone away, and I thought I was starting to understand Lydia's schedule. She would eat every 4 hours for an hour at a time, and even though this schedule was not ideal I thought I had figured it out. Then, at her 8 weeks appointment, the pediatrician wasn't happy with her weight gain and I was crushed. I had put in so much work, and had stayed committed through so much.. for nothing it seemed. The doctor said she would give me a week to try to kick start my supply, and if Lydia's weight gain wasn't sufficient we would have to supplement with formula. For the next 7 days I talked with 2 different lactation consultants, changed my diet, fed Lydia twice as much and pumped 4 times a day. It was so exhausting. But in the end it paid off. Lydia gained 11 ounces in 7 days and everyone was happy.

Once we got over that bump in the road around 2 months the breastfeeding experience really started to improve. I still struggled with what to wear each day (especially because I had to go to school and teach!), and breastfeeding continued to be painful until 3 months. But at some point things started to take a turn for the better and now I am in an entirely different place.

Looking back, I am not completely sure why I stuck so strongly to exclusively breastfeeding. I think a lot of it was that I have grown up in a "breast is best" culture. My mom nursed me and all of my siblings, all of my sisters-in-law were nursing their babies, and all of my close friends had also chosen to breastfeed. They supported me through the hard times, and I think that since I had seen their experiences I was determined to make it work for us too. Reflecting back I also think that being in graduate school had something to do with it. I wanted so badly to stay home with Lydia all the time in the beginning - when she was so tiny and needy - so I think that I clung tightly to breastfeeding as a way to be there for her in a very real way.

Whatever the reasons were you should know that I know breastfeeding may not be for some people and that is completely fine with me. At the same time, if you want to breastfeed and are having troubles I want to encourage you to stick with it!! Because today I love it more than anything. I cannot describe the connection that I feel with Lydia when she is nursing. She looks into my eyes, flashes gummy grins, puts her fingers in my mouth and pats my collarbones. In those moments I see her just as she was when she was born - helpless, innocent, perfect, my baby. I love the quiet moments that we spend together and the bond that we have formed during nursing sessions. All of the problems with pain, my wardrobe, and my milk supply have solved themselves, and I am so grateful and proud to have had this experience with my daughter.

Today I truly love breastfeeding and I am so glad that we worked so hard together to get to this point. I know that soon the dynamics of nursing will begin to change, and although it is sad it is exciting too. I love seeing Lydia experience food for the first time and it is amazing to see her becoming more independent even in this small way. Ideally I will breastfeed Lydia until she is at least a year old, and I would like to let her naturally wean herself. Only time will tell how the latter breastfeeding chapters will go, but for now I am so happy with where we are!

As you may notice...

There are lots of changes going on around the blog lately! Sorry I haven't been posting as much... I hope to change that very soon. I have been working hard on the different pages that are listed up top, so you should check those out if you haven't already. I have also updated the labels on the side of the blog, and "7 snapshots" is now the label for all of those Sunday posts.

I hope that you find that everything is easier to navigate. And if you have any suggestions please let me know! As always, thanks for reading :)

Seven Snapshots Sunday

Today I looked at my camera and realized there were no pictures from this week on it! But all was well because today Lydia started standing up as she holds onto things. Still no crawling, but who knows, maybe she will walk first :)

Hanging out with Uncle Josh today!

Pediatrician Update

Lydia went to the pediatrician on Monday and she did great. I have updated her stats on her 6 month update, but I will tell you all the details here too.

She is 25 1/2 inches long (30th percentile), 15 lbs and 14 oz (45th percentile), and her head is in the 75th percentile! I didn't realize her head was so big - I think it is her big brain in there :)

Lydia also had to get 3 shots and she truly did wonderful. She didn't make a peep for the first one, and during the 2nd and 3rd she yelled but then calmed down withing 2 minutes. The nurse said Lydia gave her a dirty look afterward and I believe her. Our little girl is a bit dramatic. Even though she took the shots well at the time yesterday evening and today her legs have clearly been hurting her. We have given her a little bit of Tylenol a few times and as long as we stay on top of that she is fine. I am hoping that by tomorrow she won't even know it happened.

I should tell you too that I LOVE our new pediatrician here in NKY. I chose her because she is the only female pediatrician whose office is (literally) 6 minutes from our house, and who accepts our insurance. As it turns out, she is pretty wonderful. She is a young mom of 3 and is very laid back, which is something that I like in a doctor. Also, the front desk people are so nice and we were in and out on Monday in 45 minutes in contrast to our standard hour and a half appointments at UK.

Overall, Monday was just a great day. It is amazing to see your baby grow and to be encouraged that you are doing a good job as a parent. I am so thankful for Lydia's health and I continue to be blown away by the miracle of growing a baby, having a baby, and then sustaining a baby! God is good.

Post-Partum Update: 6 months

I had to pause as I began to type the above title... should I still be thinking of my body in post-partum terms? But then I decided, yes. I will take a piece of my own advice that I give to anyone trying to lose weight or get in shape: Give yourself as much time to get the weight off as it took to put it on. Thus, I will be doing a post-partum updates for another 3 months, because even though I feel very much back to "normal" I know that my body is still recovering from both pregnancy and birth.

I just read my 4 month post-partum update and got a little down. I remember writing it and can recall how I felt awesome about my body at the time. I was eating a ton, losing weight quickly and feeling bad to my old self again. Things have changed over these past 2 months in both good and bad ways I think. In the past few weeks I have found myself being critical of my still-flabby tummy and my chubby-ish arms. David commented that he thinks I am just getting my old eyes back, and I think I agree. Soon after having a baby I felt awesome! I mean there were pains and swelling and things like that, but I left the hospital feeling like I had lost 20 pounds... because I pretty much had. But being 6 months away from carrying my ginormous belly around I think I have forgotten what it felt like and I have started to crave how my body used to feel... pre-pregnancy. It is a somewhat difficult place to be. Again, I am giving myself more time before I expect to be back where I was, but at the same time it feels like it was forever ago that I was pregnant, and surely by now I should be comfortable in a bikini.

Diet: My appetite has decreased over the past 2 months although I still eat a bunch! My breakfasts consist of coffee and cereal, but most days I don't need a snack before lunch anymore. I am very hungry by noon, and most of the time for lunch I eat a sandwich, yogurt, and fruit.

I do still need an afternoon snack at about 4. Usually I each chips and salsa, a granola bar or some crackers with cheese. At dinner time I continue to eat the same portion as David, and I am trying very hard to make an evening snack an occurrence only 2-3 times a week.

I eat a lot more than I used to, but there are times when I feel full! I am not kidding when I say that between 3 and 5 months post-partum I never felt full.

Exercise: This month I have started teaching aerobics and it has been a reality check. I have lost strength and endurance, but I do feel like I am quickly getting it back. Teaching aerobics has given me the motivation that I needed to get serious about getting back into shape, and now that I don't have to worry about graduate school I also have the time. I have loved teaching weight lifting, and circuit training and every once in a while I can attend a class. However, the one thing that I have really been missing is a good cardio workout. During these beautiful days I really want to take long walks, but Lydia has developed a strong hatred toward the jogging stroller. This is posing a big challenge to getting into a daily routine of walking which is my ultimate goal.

I am not sure what to do about this issue. Any advice from you out there? For now I hope to try and take a walk in the evenings after I put Lydia to bed. That way David can study for a little bit more and I can sweat a little. This obviously cuts into the time that I have with David, which is far from ideal, but even if it is just 2 good walks a week it would be better than nothing. I am also considering (I can't believe I am saying this) trying to jog again. In the past I have truly, truly hated it. But it would give me a way to get a good cardio workout in less time. This where I really need advice... any runners out there, how do I start??

Mostly I think that I need some sort of goal to get me motivated and keep me accountable. I thought aerobics would do the trick, and maybe next month when I have more classes it will, but if I find something I will let you know.

In general I really do continue to feel better and better and honestly sometimes I can't believe that my body went through all that it did!

Seven Snapshots Sunday

 Pushing up like a big girl!

 Love these gray corduroy shorts.

 Lydia loves drinking out of cups! Especially ones that are a big as her face.

 With my cousin Sarah.

 Snoozing by the pool.

 I cannot get enough of this picture. Happy Father's Day David!

And Happy Father's Day to my dad too.

6 Months

I really cannot believe that my baby is 6 months old! I know that I literally say it every month... but this one has been my favorite by far. I love getting to know Lydia more and more each day; to catch glimpses of her personality, to be able to discern what she wants or needs, and to experience her affection towards me. As sad as it sometimes makes me that she is halfway to being a year old, and further from a newborn each day it truly is a miracle to see her grow and develop.

Her stats: At her 6 month appointment on June 18th Lydia was 25 1/2 inches long (30th percentile), 15 lbs and 14 oz (45th percentile), and her head was in the 75th percentile! It is that big brain in there :) No teeth have broken through but her gums are so hard. Hopefully there will be some teeth there soon so she can really start eating. She is moving quickly into 6-9 months clothes, but 3-6 month stuff can still fit.

Eating: Lydia still really loves to eat. She nurses every 1.5-2 hours for 5-10 minutes. I love this breastfeeding schedule - it really beats her eating for 45 minutes straight! We are getting so much more comfortable together and nursing feels easy and natural at this point. I am so, so glad that I stuck with it through the hard times. She eats about 7-8 times during the day and usually only once at night.

After we talk to the pediatrician we will get serious about introducing some solid food. This past month I read the book Baby-Led Weaning and absolutely loved it (Thanks Katie G.!!) Basically the book talks about how if you wait until 6 months to introduce solid food there is no real need for purees (aka baby food). The idea is that you can start them right away with table food - as long as it is the right size, shape and texture. This allows them to learn to grab the food themselves, bring it to their mouth, develop their chewing skills and decide how much food they want. I like the idea because of convenience, and I love the idea that Lydia can just eat what we do! Over the past month we have started to let her taste some things and she has loved melon, strawberries, banana, asparagus, broccoli, yogurt, bread, and ice cream. My brother thinks it is hilarious to give her lemon, but she doesn't care for it, and she hated the 2 times when we tried rice cereal. As we venture into the Baby-Led Weaning approach you can count on an update :)

Sleeping: You can read about how we got Lydia to sleep in her crib here. Now things are going very smoothly. If we are being good, responsible parents we start Lydia's bedtime routine at 7. She is sleeping by 7:45 and might wake up around 9 crying, but she is easy to put back to sleep. On good nights Lydia wakes up once to eat (around 3) and on bad nights she wakes up twice (1 and 5), and she is usually awake for the day around 8.

She takes three naps during the day and together they total about 3.5 hours. Naps are somewhat random - sometimes she nurses to sleep, for others she takes a pacifier and for others she falls asleep in the car. They are taken in her swing, crib, car seat and in the extra bedroom at Nana's house just depending on the day.

What she loves: Rooney, Jasmine, sitting on the floor and playing with toys, music, being outside, food, drinking (or mostly spitting out) ice water from a glass.

What she hates: Being sleepy, her car seat (sometimes), her stroller (most of the time), being held facing in, having to wait to nurse.

Personality/Milestones: Lydia is sitting up very well now, although just this past week she fell forward onto a hard floor and I felt terrible! In general though she holds herself up wonderfully and it is so nice to be able to set her in her room as she grabs at her toys. She has so much more control over objects and everything she picks up goes straight to her mouth. She is fascinated by tags and tries to grab them in between her thumb and pointer finger (which apparently is a bit of a milestone as far as grabbing goes). Her giggles come more often now and she smiles all the time which is so, so sweet.

Lydia isn't very interested in rolling over still. She has done it a few more times but it isn't consistent. When we put her on her belly she seems more interested in maybe starting to crawl. She straightens her arms and tries to pull her knees up under her. As exciting as this is I must say that I am in no rush for her to become mobile.

In the last 10 days or so Lydia has really started communicating in her own way. She growls, opens her mouth wide and smile-laugh-coughs when she sees someone she recognizes, and our girl is starting to make different noises and shapes with her mouth. When we talk she studies our mouths closely and I am trying so hard to get her to say "mama"! It is amazing to see her desire to communicate with the people around her. She studies anyone and everyone and loves to be around new people and new situations (until she is sleepy - then she wants mommy and her crib). Lydia is very... particular, and when she isn't getting what she wants she definitely lets you know. It is so funny to think that this little 6 month old baby has preferences, expectations and a little bit of a temper.

Heaven-sent baby items: Muslin blankets!! They are breathable, light swaddle blankets. We have the ones found here. I love these blankets; they are perfect for summer and they are what I use to swaddle her for her naps when we are somewhere warm or as a nursing cover.

A stroller/car seat fan. We found one at Babies R Us and even though it isn't super powerful it definitely helps to give Lydia some much needed circulation while she sits in the back seat or hangs out at the pool.

Words from Daddy: It's cool because I have been actually getting some smiles this week when Lydia sees me. Also, yesterday morning I was acting all goofy and for the first time she thought it was funny, rather than staring at me thinking, "I guess this is just how people act..." She is sitting up like a pro and it has been neat to see how she is gradually getting better at all of the little things that she is able to do, like picking up blocks, reaching for object, and catching herself when she is about to fall. You often hear that dads find it hard to feel close and connected with babies, because their mothers are so important. But it has been a lot easier than I was expecting to feel close to and excited about Lydia, which is awesome.

Such great words from Daddy on the eve of his first Father's Day. I hope that you enjoy tomorrow and that you celebrate the dads in your life well!!

 

Oh the irony

Yesterday I posted that Lydia and I had gotten into a routine - that things were becoming somewhat predictable and I outlined what a typical day for us would look like. And yesterday all of it went out the window.

She was grumpy all day long, wouldn't take any naps and threw an absolute fit when I tried to go on a walk with her in the stroller. At the end of the day I had to run to the store to get just a few things, and not only did she scream in her carseat, but just as we arrived she pooped a ton in her diaper and, literally, for the first time ever I hadn't brought the diaper bag. I just tell you this to show you that just when you think you have it all together as a mommy you find out you don't.

And actually, that is one of my favorite things about motherhood thus far. I am a big time achiever; I really like to be good at things. I don't think it is in an unhealthy way necessarily, but before having a baby I felt like I was pretty good at the day to day tasks that I managed. Then Lydia was born and I realized that being a good mom looks very different from being a good student or a good teacher. Every day my patience and flexibility is tested - my ability to go with the flow is stretched. And I think that it is how I react to these changes, now how in control of my house or my weight or my schedule I am, that is the difference between being a good mom and a stressed out, striving, unsatisfied mom.

I really love how being a mommy has changed me and even though yesterday was frustrating, at the end of it when we, as a family of 3, were sitting at a park enjoying a picnic dinner and a free concert with our giggling, gorgeous baby I knew that I hadn't failed in any way. Some days are good, some are bad. Sometimes I get to take a walk, sometimes I don't. Some days I am showered by 3 p.m., but yesterday I wasn't. And that really is okay.

Change is Comin'

Hello readers!

So today I purchased a domain name: www.balancingthebeautiful.com. If you go to this website or to the old davidandashleyharrison.blogspot.com it will take you to the same place. Also, as you may have noticed I changed the title of the blog!

After a week of thinking and praying and daydreaming I think I would like to take blogging a little more seriously. I really like writing, and I have been encouraged from all over the place lately that you out there like reading. So if I am going to do it anyway, I figured I should do it right.

I have been wanting to change the name of the blog for a while but I could never come up with something appropriate. I will explain the new title in a separate post soon, but once I thought of this title I knew I was ready to start... at least slowly.

I hope to change the look of the blog soon, as well as add some pages and give it some more organization. I have been writing for almost a year and a half now, so I am excited and nervous for the change!

I just wanted to let you know so that you wouldn't be thrown off, and also to tell you that even though I am changing things up I will still be writing about the same stuff and in the same way. If I attract some more attention and can make a little money eventually, then that is great! And if not, that is fine too. But for now I definitely have a better title and my own domain name which is fun.

I hope you stay along for the journey with me.

~ Ashley

Our Days Lately

While I was in graduate school with a newborn baby and teaching full time it was hard for me to wrap my mind around the concept of being a stay at home mom. I remember talking to David as the semester was coming to an end and expressing how nervous I was to have so much free time. Of course I was excited, but I really had no idea what my days would look like and it made me uncomfortable. I am very much a routine person - I like to know what to expect from a day and I also like to feel productive. Motherhood has made me change in a lot of ways, and some of the most significant adjustments have been my definition of productive and what kind of goals I set for each day. Now that we have settled into somewhat of a schedule here I thought I would share what my stay-at-home-mom days look like.

*Also note that I am giving the times based on a typical day... Lydia doesn't wake up at the same time every morning, but she definitely has a routine. So the time intervals day to day stay the same but the actual hour doesn't. I hope that makes sense.*

7:45 - David wakes me up and I get out of bed and rush to pump before I leak everywhere or fall over in pain. It really isn't that bad... but ever since Lydia has started sleeping more at night pumping is definitely my top priority when I get out of bed. I make myself a cup of coffee and David and I get to hang out and chat a little bit.

8 - Lydia wakes up. David usually goes in and changes her diaper but keeps her in her pjs. He brings her out to the living room where she eats and the three of us hang out. David leaves for his Bar course at 8:30. Once David leaves I sit Lydia on the floor in her nursery to play with blocks while I eat breakfast, brush my teeth and get out of my pajamas. If she is fussy I put her in the moby while I fix our bed and maybe get a load of laundry started.

9:15 - I swaddle Lydia's legs and rock her with a pacifier to put her to sleep for her first nap. She is in her swing snoozing by 9:30.

I have some time to myself now. Usually during this time I will do a workout routine on You Tube and get cleaned up as well as wash dishes/do laundry/clean... whatever needs to be done. I might also eat a snack of some kind and read emails.

11:00 - Lydia wakes up. I change her diaper, get her dressed and feed her. If we are staying home that day this is the time when I put Lydia in the jogging stroller and take Rooney for a bit of a walk. If we are planning on going somewhere (the pool, my parents', a park) we will leave pretty soon after her first nap. This is when she is in the best mood!

12:30 - Usually David gets home around this time and we all eat lunch together.

1 - Lydia goes down for her second nap. If we are out and about this nap may not happen until 2 or so when she is really tired. It really just depends! If we are home then during this time I take care of any phone calls that I need to make and also do more house work.

2:30 - Lydia is awake again so I change her diaper and she eats. This is the time of day when I start to get antsy if we are at home, so we may go to the grocery store, swing outside in the back yard or go on another walk. Lydia also plays really well during this time so we play together - with blocks, reading books and singing songs.

4:30 - Lydia goes down for her third nap, usually with some resistance this time. If we have spent the day somewhere this is usually the time that we head home. Once she is sleeping I start to cook something for dinner or finish up any chores that I started during the day.

5:30 - David is finished working and Lydia is awake. We all eat dinner together and then hang out as a family!

7 - I warm up a bottle of milk and David gets Lydia's bath started. He gives her a bath (this is their one on one time together) while I sit down for a minute and read. David puts lotion on her and gets her in her pjs, then feeds her the bottle. After her bottle one of us puts her to bed (usually it is me, but David did it last night with a pacifier and it went well!)

8 - Lydia is sleeping and David and I get to hang out alone. We sit out on the deck and talk, watch some TV or read together. I love having time with him consistently.

10:30 - David and I are in bed and I am prepared to get up with Lydia twice during the night, usually around 1 and 5.

In general I try to spend 2 days fully at home each week. This way I am sure to stay on top of laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. One day a week I watch my brother and we usually hang out at my parents' house, and another day a week I go to the pool with my mom, brother, cousins and grandma. I try to leave one day open to whatever - seeing extended family or friends, or anything else that I want to do. David and I usually eat dinner with my parents once during the week, his mom once, his dad's side once and then just the 3 of us twice. The weekends are just random, busy and exciting. Each day I really try to read a little, write a little, work out, and spend 3 good hours (at separate times) playing with/teaching Lydia. When she is awake I want her to play independently half of the time and then give her attention for the other half. I think that both dynamics are really important for her to get used to!

Some days I definitely feel kind of bored, but I know that I am just beginning to really get into a routine. Teaching aerobics helps me to get out of the house by myself a couple nights a week and that is really nice. It also motivates me to stay in shape throughout the week! It is also awesome to be surrounded by a community of family because I never really feel lonely which I have heard can be a downside to staying at home full time.

I truly love my days lately! I am not sure what they will look like come fall, but for now I am enjoying the freedom and the laid back pace.

What do your days look like if you are a mom? What kind of goals do you set for yourself? If you are going to be a mommy soon do you have any fears about how your daily life will change? I would love to hear about them!

Seven(teen) Snapshots Sunday

I have been taking so many pictures again lately! In fact, I am not sure if I can narrow these down and only pick seven for you this week... so I may cheat and share more. But you won't mind, right? I really feel like summer has kicked in gear around here. We have all gotten into some kind of schedule, the days are warm, and we are doing fun things like going to the park and pool! I truly love my days - I hope to write about what they look like (in general) sometime very soon. For now here are a few snapshots that may give you kind of an idea.

 She gets a bottle of pumped milk every night before bed and she is holding it now!

 Chillin' in her crib.

 Oh that smile... and those rolls! I remember at 2 months laughing at the idea that I would ever have a chubby baby, and now she has dimples and rolls everywhere.

 Every morning Lydia plays in her room with her blocks (which were mine when I was little).

 Helping mommy put on her makeup.

 Happy Birthday David!!

 Just sucking on some pizza crust. I love giving her little things to try!

 First day at the pool. Goodness, I love her.

 Hanging out at the park.

 This picture was just too perfect to not post.

 

 Baby sunglasses are always funny.

 Another day at the park - this time with Uncle Josh.

 First time in a swing and she was pensive and calm.

 Much of Lydia's day is spent like this: sitting on the floor with baby toys all around.

 Dead on her Daddy in this picture.

 The tennis ball picture! As my brother, sister and I were growing up my parents got a picture of each of us around 6 months holding a tennis ball just like this one. A great tradition that I would like to keep up.

Hopefully that wasn't too overwhelming. I have been in a funk lately, which you can read about here. But I really am starting to feel better - more like myself. I want to tell you lots of things and share what else has been happening around here, so tune in this week for some more posts. 

Happy Sunday!

Good Grief

Apparently I don't deal well with grief. I have been blessed to not have very much practice in grieving - my grandpa is by far the closest person to me that has passed away. This past week has been very difficult and since I know that my Pop Pop was an avid follower of this blog (he and my Grandma are the main reason I have kept it up for so long) it only seems appropriate to say something here about how I feel and pay a very small tribute to his wonderful life.

I realized this past week that I rarely feel sad, which I am thankful for in general. But it has been difficult to go about everyday life, to be around people, to find the energy to just get through the day. The first few days after we got news that my grandpa probably wouldn't recover were the hardest... time just seemed to pass by each day and it felt like I was in a daze. I didn't want to talk to anyone about it which is really rare for me, and it was difficult for me to be comfortable in a group of people. I couldn't find the words to speak to the family and friends around me, and when I tried to pray tears filled the spaces where words usually flowed. I was grieving the loss of a very important person in my life; I was empathizing with the sadness of my own dad and his sisters; I was finding it hard to come to grips with what my grandmother (Pop Pop's wife of 59 years) must be feeling.

But after a few days, it somehow got better. The sun shone brighter and food tasted better. Lydia's smile reminded me of the beauty of having children - She is only here because my Grandma and Pop Pop had my dad, my dad and mom, had me and then David and I somehow produced our beautiful girl. And slowly I felt more normal... still sad, but okay.

Then my grieving turned a corner and it turned into remembering. Memories are such a beautiful gift and my mind has just been flooded with ones which included my Pop Pop. I remember sitting on his lap as a small child playing  PGA golf on his computer. I remember eating Cheese Balls and turkey sandwiches in his kitchen so many summery afternoons. Once my grandparents moved to Florida we enjoyed so many spring and summer breaks with them - going to the beach, swimming at the pool and staying inside their screened in porch. We ate garlic knots together at Big Apple Pizza, and cheeseburgers at the Galley Grille. I experienced my first and only cruise with my Pop Pop; we went to the Bahamas and my sister and I got our hair braided by a vendor on the side of the street.

In the past few years I have enjoyed regular phone conversations with my grandparents. Whenever I called they would each pick up a phone so that we could all talk together. They would ask me questions about school and life, tell me about the happenings of King's Isle (their retirement community) and every once in a while interrupt one another. My Pop Pop always made it clear to me how proud he was of me and his encouragement and praise seemed never ending. I will truly miss my grandpa and will always be sad that he never got to meet his great granddaughter, but I do find peace in the fact that he got to see her, and in a way know her, through this blog. I know she would have loved him, and the he would have spoiled her rotten. I am so blessed that he was able to connect with Lydia through pictures and weekly updates and that he was aware and proud of my greatest accomplishment.

I am proud of my Pop Pop too - the way that he lived his life. He was a wonderful husband to my Grandma and I will always look to their marriage as a model of what I want mine to be like after almost 60 years. They teased one another, loved one another and liked one another. My Grandma and Pop Pop's story will always be the example of the "classic love story" for me.

Today, on the day of his funeral in Florida, I am in a much better place. I love the memories that I have and I have changed for the better through this grieving process. I know it isn't over - that the sadness will come and go in waves but right now I can look back and be joyful and look forward and be hopeful.

Thanks for listening, whoever you are.

Seven Snapshots Sunday - For You, Pop Pop

My heart is heavy today. Actually, it has been heavy all week. This week has been really hard and sad, so the motivation and pull out my camera and catch present moments has been low. I have been doing a lot of thinking, a lot of praying, and a lot of remembering. I lost my grandpa today (better known as Pop Pop), so I decided to dedicate this week of photos to him and the memories that I will always keep of him.

 

At my Aunt Lois' wedding. I remember drinking lots of Shirley Temples.

 

On my first (and only) cruise. Grandma and Pop Pop loved taking cruises together.

 All of my Dad's side of the family together celebrating my graduation from high school and Grandma and Pop Pop's 50th wedding anniversary.

 At our wedding.

The couple that stole the show. They had been married 56 years. Amazing!