So, this evening as she sleeps on the other couch and gives me use of both of my hands for just a little bit I am going to tell you about the day that she was born. It was a day that changed my life forever and I hope to describe it as best as I can both for you to read and for me to remember.
I went to bed on Thursday, December 15th (her due date) praying that she would be born on the 16th. I greatly enjoyed December 15th in and of itself because David and I got to relax together and get a lot of stuff done around the house, however as I fell asleep that night I found myself yearning so much for her to be here, not because I was impatient, but because I wanted as much time as possible with her before our semesters started up once again.
At 1:30 a.m. I woke up feeling strange. I shook David awake as I walked quickly to the bathroom. Yup, my water had broken. It wasn't a huge gush, or a trickle, but something in between and all of the sudden everything became so real! Only about 15% of women's water breaks before they have contractions, however I was somewhat expecting it to happen since it had been my mom's experience with all 3 of her children. So as I got a little cleaned up David called parents, packed the rest of our bags, showered and loaded up the car. We were checked into triage at the hospital by 2:30 and my contractions were already painful.
A resident doctor came in to check my progress as a nurse asked me some questions. Then some craziness ensued. Apparently the doctor thought that I was dilated 9 centimeters, but she clearly saw that I wasn't in much pain. She didn't say anything to us but instead went to the computer to admit me back to labor and delivery (since my water had broken I would have been admitted no matter what), and I guess she went ahead and entered how far dilated I was even though she was going to have another check before allowing the nurses to take me back. But as she was still entering in some information 3 nurses came into my room with a bed on wheels, transferred me to it and started saying things like, "Is this your first baby? This is the way to do it!' And, "Wow, you are handling this so well!". I asked what was going on and one of the nurses told me that the doctor said I was 9 centimeters and to be honest I started freaking out a little bit. I wanted to have a baby, but not in the next hour! David made some rushed calls to our parents as he walked with me back to our labor and delivery room. When we entered there were, no kidding, 13 people in the room. It was overwhelming. Finally, the doctor came by to explain to me what was going on and she also had the chief resident doctor come in to check me again. I was relieved when he told me I was only 1 1/2 c.m. and after this pronouncement the room quickly cleared out until only my nurse was there. Needless to say, this was not a very good start to my hospital experience and I was glad that after that point only the chief resident doctor saw me until the shifts changed at 8.
Once we knew how much progress I had really made David and I made yet another call to the parents and settled in a bit. We knew we would be there for a while. I was disappointed to find out that since my water had broken I had to keep an IV in and thus I could not get out of bed. This posed a big change to our natural birthing plan. Even from the beginning my contractions hurt a lot in my back and all I wanted to do was stand up and sway or squat. None of these things are possible while sitting in bed so I began to get really nervous about trying to do all of it naturally without any sort of mobility available to me. We decided to try to breathe through the contractions for as long as I could while we thought more and more about the possibility of an epidural. My contractions were hard and long from the beginning. I breathed deep and tried to focus as I rocked back and forth through 2-3 minute contractions with only 30 seconds in between. After 3 hours I was shaking in between each one because I could barely get any rest so David and I decided to talk to the anesthesiologist. We decided that an epidural would be the best decision given all of the circumstances, so by 5:30 I had been given the epidural and was feeling its effects within a few minutes. The epidural itself was definitely strange and uncomfortable at times, but given how much it relieved the pain of he contractions (at least for a while) and how it helped me to relax, that small pain was well worth it.
Our parents arrived in shifts and I was so thankful to have my mom in the room after I had gotten the epidural. I had some blood pressure issues about 30 minutes after getting it which is pretty normal, but it was definitely scary to have 6 nurses, a doctor and the anesthesiologist rush in without much explanation, lay me down and give me an oxygen mask. I was feeling dizzy and sick and I was glad that my mom was there holding my hand telling me that the same thing had happened to her and everything would be alright. Within 5 minutes I was feeling better (they just had to increase the flow of my IV a bit) and the baby's heart rate and my blood pressure were back to normal.
From 6 a.m. until 9 a.m. everything was a little surreal. We could finally let our families come in for a bit and visit with them. I laid back in the bed and got a little bit of rest and enjoyed the effects of the epidural for sure. At 10 a.m. they checked me again and I had progressed to 4 centimeters! It was so relieving to know that my body was ready to do this on its own and that I wouldn't need any kind of induction methods to help it out. From 9-11 David and I decided to ask everyone to leave for a bit so that we could maybe try to sleep. We laid in bed and watched my contractions come and go on the monitor and our decisions for the epidural continued to be confirmed. My contractions were now lasting 4-5 minutes each but there was still only 30 seconds in between each one. They were strong and right on top of one another and I just don't think I could have handled it while sitting in bed.
Sleep eluded me as my contractions got more intense. I could fall asleep a little bit in between each one, but even with the epidural I was soon needing to breathe through the peak of each one. The nurses said they would check me again in 4 hours, but by 11 I felt like I was getting a lot closer. I called them in and sure enough I was 7 1/2 c.m. dilated. They said I was doing great and that I should just keep breathing and call them back in when I felt constant pressure. I focused hard for the next hour and a half, definitely uncomfortable during the peak of each contraction, and at 12:30 called them in again, please to find out that I was fully dilated! But the journey had only just begun.
At this point the epidural wasn't doing very much. The way that it works for most people is that it numbs certain pain receptors, the ones that are activated during a contraction. However, once the baby is down all of the way there is bone on bone pressure which cannot be numbed. So I was definitely feeling pain at this point and I was so thankful for David and our nurse who helped me through the next two hours. The nurse told me that even though I might feel like I was ready to push it would be better if I tried to relax and breathe through contraction for another 45 minutes. This would allow the baby to descent further down and let the contractions do the work since pushing can be really tiring. It was really difficult, but I did as she told me to do, squeezing David's hand and trying to focus on other things, taking one contraction at a time. Finally she said I was ready to start pushing.
I pushed for 38 minutes and it felt like I life time! I don't really know how to describe this part of the experience except that it was hard. It definitely hurt and there was tons of pressure, but the main memory that I have is that it was simply physically exhausting. I was so glad at this point that I had stayed in shape during my pregnancy because I really thing that muscle control and a disciplined body helped me so much during those 30 minutes. I also remember feeling like I wanted to fall asleep in between the pushes, and the nurse said that there actually is a hormone released (called the "sleepy hormone" that helps you to rest in between). As I got closer and closer they brought in a mirror so that I could see the progress I was making. I never thought that I would want this, but it actually helped motivate me and I pushed so much more effectively when I could actually see how close I was to meeting her.
The most bizarre part of the hospital experience was how quickly people came and went from my room when something was happening. One minute it was just me, David and the nurse working through each push and then the next there were 3 more nurses, a pediatrician, a doctor and a resident ready for our girl to be born! While she was crowning there was a lot of burning and pain but so much adrenaline too and before I knew it Lydia Grace was laying on my chest and I was so happy, relieved, and exhausted.
I held onto her and looked at her amazed as David cut the cord, and then the pediatrician had to take her. She had had a bowel movement before around the time that my water had broken so I couldn't keep her on me while they checked her out. Instead David followed her and pediatrician to a small room attached to our room where they checked to make sure nothing had gotten into her lungs. This was the hardest part for sure... my baby girl is crying in the other room and David is there with her while I am trying to deliver the placenta (this part was harder than I thought) and then I am being stitched up a bit. I am crying because Lydia's cry is so beautiful, and I am so happy she is here, but I am also in pain and just want someone to hold my hand.
Finally she gets brought back to me and David and I just stare and marvel at this newborn baby... our newborn baby.
Words really can't describe what I felt in those moments. I was so happy that she was finally here with us. I was so proud of my body for carrying her and then delivering her safely to me. I was so relieved that labor was over. I was so, so thankful to have a perfectly healthy baby girl.
And that is the story of how Lydia Grace came into our lives, changing them forever.
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